It is only when faced with the reality and the imminence of death that some - or maybe most - become motivated enough to make changes in their lives. These may be changes to their internal landscapes or to external behaviours; acts of generosity, courage or forgiveness, which reflect deeply held values or life-long desires. Perhaps they need to tell something that they have been wanting to express for many years, or put their life in order - emotionally, spiritually or administratively - so they can die in peace. Facing certain death is a unique opportunity to resolve many things. The very act of coming to terms with one’s own death is an act of courage, but one that can also bring peace, and readiness for that transition. This time may be short, but it may also be a timeless experience for all involved. Creating the conditions for this unique period requires thought and preparation. People need to feel physically and emotionally comfortable in their surroundings, and in their own skin. They need time – possibly alone – or with loved ones or spiritual leaders or buddies, to prepare. The basic needs include warmth, appropriate nutrition, skin care, and to be kept clean and fresh. Changing degrees of mobility may also need consideration. Pain relief, and other medication, with safe and appropriate ways of delivery, may also be required. Those with life limiting illness may need spiritual or psychological support to work out what they want and need to do, and how to do it. Family and carers need support too. It is a time of great uncertainty which can be frightening. This is not just about when the death will occur and exactly how, but also about how they can meet the changing needs of their loved one, and whether they will cope alongside the other commitments of their life, and the need to look after themselves also. So they need to know in advance what help will be available, and any possible costs. They also need information about the likely course of the illness and its effects, and what to expect as death draws nearer; whilst also understanding that although some experiences are common to many, everyone’s approach to their final hour is different.
