18/01/2026
First post of the year. “Happy new year” it’s not really happy and I don’t understand how the change of the month brings any kind of new luck or new motivation. Especially when we have just forced our way through Christmas and the struggles the pressure the heart ache .
It’s only been 16 months since I lost lawin and I had to really double check that as it feels like yesterday but also feels a lifetime ago.
Many many charities made promises to help , many charities reached out and then ghosted. There is no mental health support anywhere, there’s no support for the anxiety the pain that you feel everyday that makes you feel sick physically and mentally and you can’t even walk out the door most days. I’m very greatful to of had some EMDR therapy alongside some CBT. I never thought therapy would work but it’s helped. I’m better than I have been, but I’m nowhere near healed.
I miss my son so much and one day I’m going to get justice for him. So many hospital errors and I wish to god that Hannah was here right now to help me through this fight with the hospital. She knew all the ins and outs and understood the stress and the negligence.
Here’s to 2026, the next step in Lawins case is sorting the ombudsman out now that the healthboard has responded with their s**tty reply.
Here’s to Lana banana pulling me through the darkest days whilst missing her brother so much. ❤️
Here’s to trying to beat this anxiety and actually face the outside world and people . ❤️
Here’s to masking and faking my way through another year of chaos because no doctors will actually help me in anyway.
Here’s to becoming stronger bit by bit so I can get back to helping other people in the way they need. Lawins light will be something spectacular. All in good time 🥰🥰🥰🥰