Neuro-Collective

Neuro-Collective Neuro-Collective is a community-rooted nonprofit creating neurodiversity-affirming spaces for kids and caregivers in the Niagara region and beyond.

Founded by a therapist, advocate, and mother, we exist because we know how hard it can be to find support

This article is gold. This week I saw a post criticising the idea of autistic culture. The poster claiming autism couldn...
05/24/2026

This article is gold. This week I saw a post criticising the idea of autistic culture. The poster claiming autism couldn't possibly represent a cultural identity because the autistic experience isn't a monolith. This is true, autism is heterogenous in nature, but there are joining threads. I had to sit with my response to the article, because, for me anyways, the autistic experience is far more than a diagnostic experience, it truly is sociological.

It got me thinking about what we define as culture and how culture is experienced and expressed. In many cases, cultural experiences can be intersectional and multi-layered. To shrink autistic culture down to the explanation that we are not a monolith (and so therefore there isn't a culture) was not landing well, but I have more to reflect and learn about before I put my thoughts out there regarding this.

This article arrived at the right time. Is this true for ALL autistic individuals? Probably not, but we also can't disregard those who this article encompasses. Thank you to Trauma Geek - Janae Elisabeth for putting out these thoughts!

https://www.traumageek.com/blog/lost-in-translation-the-social-language-theory-of-neurodivergence?fbclid=IwdGRjcASAAyxjbGNrBIADJGV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHu2BgNSQyKL4Q586dmyYccAN6mczKSdGrNRPMXA_MQKurKl8DxCV0OaDbZzy_aem_7UPxxbM5Yoy3QMQVShg1PQ

We the neurodivergent are genetically different. We experience the world through a hypersensitive nervous system which informs every aspect of our thinking, our behavior, and our social values. The dominant social group labels our way of being in the world as disordered because they don’t understa...

05/21/2026

So so so thrilled to see this come across the feed. Run, don't walk, and get your seat.

We are proudly neurodivergent led at Neuro-Collective. Our leadership has lived (first-hand) and parenting experience in...
05/21/2026

We are proudly neurodivergent led at Neuro-Collective. Our leadership has lived (first-hand) and parenting experience in autism, adhd, sensory processing challenges, learning disabilities, trauma, giftedness, burnout, anxiety, depression, and more. Welcome to the community. As a collective, your voice matters. Tell us how we can best support neurodivergent families in Niagara.

I made this ladder as a framework for analyzing the distribution of power in any space that claims to serve, study, or support neurodivergent people.

Each rung represents a different configuration of who actually holds decision-making authority, and the vertical axis is essentially a measure of how meaningfully neurodivergent people can shape outcomes that affect their own lives.

It's adapted from Sherry Arnstein's 1969 Ladder of Citizen Participation, which she developed to critique how government agencies were handling community input during the urban renewal and War on Poverty era. Her core argument was that "participation" had become a word that obscured more than it revealed, because agencies were using it to describe everything from genuine community control to performative consultation that changed nothing. The ladder was her tool for forcing precision: if you tell me your program involves community participation, I should be able to ask which rung and get a real answer.

That same critique transfers almost perfectly to neurodiversity spaces, where "including autistic voices" or "centering neurodivergent perspectives" has become language so common that it now describes a huge range of practices, some of which are meaningful and some of which are functionally indistinguishable from exclusion.

The three sections of the ladder map onto three fundamentally different relationships between institutions and the communities they affect.

Non-participation is the bottom section, and what unifies these rungs is that the institution is not actually trying to share power, even when it looks like it might be. Manipulation is the most cynical version: neurodivergent people are recruited into advisory roles, testimonial slots, or community panels specifically so the institution can claim community endorsement for decisions that were made before the community was ever involved.

Educating sits just above it and is more insidious because it often presents as care. The underlying assumption is that the neurodivergent person is the problem to be solved (through behavioral training, social skills instruction, normalization protocols) and that participation will be possible only after they've been sufficiently shaped to fit existing structures.

Informing is the least harmful of the three but still belongs in non-participation because the communication flows one direction. Decisions get announced, sometimes with great care and clear language, but there's no actual mechanism for the community to redirect them.

Tokenism is the middle section, and the defining feature is that neurodivergent presence is real but structurally disempowered. This is where most well-intentioned organizations live, and it's the most dangerous section in some ways because it's the easiest to mistake for genuine inclusion.

Consultation gathers input but doesn't structurally bind decision-makers to it. Surveys get run, focus groups get held, the data gets cited in the introduction of the white paper, and then the recommendations get written by the same people who would have written them anyway.

Placation goes one rung up by actually seating neurodivergent people in formal advisory or governance roles, but it preserves the underlying authority structure. The board still votes. The clinical director still has final say. The autistic advisor's dissent gets recorded in the minutes and the decision goes the other way. What makes tokenism distinctive is that the visibility of neurodivergent participation is precisely what makes it useful to the institution. The presence is the product, not the input.

Neurodivergent-led is the top section, and the shift is from neurodivergent people being consulted about institutional work to neurodivergent people directing institutional work.

Partnership is where decision-making is genuinely shared, with neurodivergent stakeholders holding enough structural authority that their disagreement can stop or redirect a decision.

Shared Power is where that authority becomes weighted toward neurodivergent voices on neurodivergent matters, recognizing that lived experience and community knowledge are forms of expertise that should carry more weight than external credentialing on questions about neurodivergent lives.

Neurodivergent Leadership at the top is the point where the question of "who gets to decide" has been answered structurally rather than rhetorically. Neurodivergent people lead the organizations, set the research agendas, design the curricula, train the professionals, write the policy, and hold the institutional power to make those choices stick.

What the ladder ultimately does is expose the gap between rhetoric and structure.

Almost every organization in the neurodiversity field today uses language consistent with the top of the ladder ("we center autistic voices," "nothing about us without us," "lived experience informs our work") while operating on rungs much closer to the bottom. The ladder doesn't resolve that gap, but it does make it visible and discussable, which matters because you can't fix a problem you don't have language for. It also reframes the central question of the field. The question stops being "are neurodivergent voices included" (which is yes/no and easy to answer cheaply) and becomes "how is power distributed in this space" (which is structural and much harder to fake). That reframe is the whole point.

But keep in mind, the ladder is descriptive, not prescriptive about pace. It's not saying every organization needs to jump from rung 2 to rung 8 overnight. What it is asking for is honest self-assessment. Looking at where you actually are, not where your mission statement says you are. Acknowledging that if you're sitting in the lower rungs, you have real room to grow, and committing to doing the structural work of redistributing power so that growth actually happens. The ladder gives you the vocabulary to be honest about your starting point, and the framework to be accountable for what comes next.

05/17/2026

When someone asks "How do I get my PDAer to do [task]?" — whether that's brushing teeth, showering, or putting on shoes — I want to gently turn the question on its side.

Because responding to PDA isn't about getting our kids to do anything. The moment we approach a task with the energy of "I need to make this happen," we've already triggered the very nervous system response we're trying to navigate around. PDA isn't defiance. It's an autonomic protective response to perceived loss of autonomy — and our children's bodies are exquisitely sensitive to it. They can feel the agenda before we've even opened our mouths.

So what does help?

Ross Greene's work in The Explosive Child offers a really useful frame. His core belief — kids do well if they can — invites us to stop asking "how do I get them to do this?" and start asking "what's getting in the way?" Refusing a task isn't a child choosing to be difficult. It's a signal that the demand, in this moment, is exceeding their capacity.

Greene describes three options for any expectation:

Plan A — Impose the demand. (This is what "getting them to do it" usually looks like. With a PDA nervous system, Plan A reliably escalates everything.)

Plan C — Set it aside, for now. Not forever. Not permission to never brush teeth again. Just: this is not the hill today. Plan C is one of the most underused and powerful tools we have, because every demand we drop frees up nervous-system bandwidth for the demands that genuinely matter.

Plan B — Collaborate. Empathize first ("I've noticed teeth-brushing has been really hard lately — what's going on with that for you?"), share your concern ("I'm worried about cavities, and about how that feels in your mouth"), then problem-solve together. Solutions our kids help build are solutions their nervous systems can tolerate.

Here's the piece I want to underscore for PDA families:

Plan C is not giving up. It is strategic. If your child is operating at 95% nervous-system load just to exist in the day, you cannot add hygiene, school, transitions, AND family expectations and hope something gives. Something will give — usually the relationship, or the regulation, or both.

The real work is in lowering the overall demand load so there is actual capacity for the tasks that genuinely matter. Sleep. Food. Connection. Eventually, yes, hygiene — but approached collaboratively, with curiosity about sensory experience, timing, autonomy, and the specific obstacles your particular child is navigating.

Less "getting them to." More "what does this child need in order to be able to?"

That shift changes everything.

05/14/2026

Welp, it's PDA awareness week. I posted earlier in the week, volunteering daily posts on PDA - effectively activating avoidance of that task specifically🫶 Seriously, I have done everything to avoid this task because it has become something I feel is expected of me, or a demand.

If that doesn't sum up PDA, I don't know what does. PDA otherwise known as pathological demand avoidance or pervasive drive for autonomy is currently understood as a profile of the autism spectrum. Within a PDA profile demands or threats of loss to autonomy trigger emotional and behavioural responses, like meltodowns, avoidance, and social behaviour to regain autonomy.

The implications for families are huge, especially because compliance-based frameworks for managing behaviour are typically at minimum not helpful and at the other end of the spectrum, quite harmful. Additionally, parents are frequently blamed, not believed, and experience next-level exhaustion from lack of support and systems that meet the needs of their families.

PDA is not recognized via "official" channels - (it's not in the DSM), but is a very real experience for many families.

Check out some PDA resources like PDA North America, PDA society and Kristy Forbes for more info on PDA!

05/11/2026

This week is PDA awareness week.

6 Years ago if you had asked me about PDA, I wouldn't have had a clue what you were talking about. Today, I (Meghan) am connected to PDA networks across the globe and teach, train, and write about PDA.

I expected that when becoming a parent, I would facilitate an optimal environment for my children's social, emotional, and behavioural success (as all first time parents do). After 15 year of work experience in children's mental health, with expertise in trauma, ADHD, anxiety, and behavioural challenges, I didn't anticipate my children throwing anything at me that I couldn't handle.

I was wrong.

I had a "serious" baby. One that rarely smiled (but when he did, it was infectious). He also didn't sleep. Speech was delayed. He was quite anxious.

I blamed myself. I was an anxious mom, the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

We did all the things. Sticker charts, social stories, explicit teaching about emotions, visual schedules, "when/then", play dates, music classes.

He was loving, and kind, and compassionate, and somewhat feral (in jest).

We brought in swing sets, and climbers, and crash pads, and spinners, and play doh, and soothing lighting.

Our world got smaller and smaller. We lost a daycare spot, and melted down whenever we left the house.

We installed locks and alarms on the doors and windows. Our escape artist and runner became known to the neighbours who would dispatch to help corral him to safety when he fled.

I returned to everything I had learned over my career. I started my career as an ABA therapist. I worked in residential facilities, and in-patient hospital stays. But everything I tried made things worse.

Slowly, we ran out of steam. We became increasingly more selective about which "behaviour" we had energy to tackle. First expectation to go was bedtime. For years I had tried to soothe my child to sleep. Music, massage, stories, rocking, consistency. We did it all. Then we shifted. Kiddo began to hang out with us in the evenings. No pressure to go to bed. We had come to the conclusion that you can't make him sleep if he wasn't ready for sleep. Strangely, after several nights of this, he began to let us know when he was ready for sleep. There were no more tears or meltddowns. It wasn't perfect. There would be times where sleep was non-existant for days at a time, but there was more peace and an acceptance of what we needed to do.

I began to learn about PDA. I learned that PDAers experience more distress with traditional approaches. Their behaviour intensifies, their mood and functioning worsens. I dove in head-first. I needed to know as much as I could.

Over this week, I will share some of what I've learned, both as a parent and a professional (and as someone who can be pretty demand avoidant themselves).

What do you want to know about PDA this week?

Let's hop on the trend. This set of cutlery was found in the wild. Thoughts?
05/10/2026

Let's hop on the trend. This set of cutlery was found in the wild. Thoughts?

Guess what?? We have an event booked! Join us for an afternoon of board games in Welland May 17, 2026. All ages event. W...
05/05/2026

Guess what?? We have an event booked! Join us for an afternoon of board games in Welland May 17, 2026. All ages event. We'll supply the board games (or bring some you want to explore). Open to members. If you would like to become a member, please feel free to message us. We have paid membership options and volunteer in exchange for membership options. Registration required. Hope to see you there!

🗓️ 17-05-2026 13:30 – 15:30 📍 474 E Main St

05/03/2026

A question I keep sitting with: when an ABA practice has thoughtfully integrated polyvagal theory, sensory accommodations, and co-regulation — and moved away from compliance-based foundations — what makes it ABA anymore?

More providers are doing this learning. I welcome it. And it raises real questions about scope and transparency for the families they serve.

ABA providers are increasingly working in territory typically held by OTs, SLPs, and psychotherapists — speech and language, emotional regulation, executive functioning. I'm all for collaboration. I also think families deserve clarity about who is delivering what, under which framework, and within whose scope of practice.

So, genuinely:

If a need is best met by an OT, SLP, or psychotherapist, what's the rationale for an ABA provider holding that scope?

And if a practice has moved away from ABA's foundations, what does it mean to keep the ABA label?

These aren't rhetorical. I'd like to hear how colleagues are thinking about it. Families deserve that conversation to be in the open.

Don't miss this. Apply for 1:1 summer break funding if your child is autistic.
05/01/2026

Don't miss this. Apply for 1:1 summer break funding if your child is autistic.

APPLY NOW FLYER FAQ'S The One-to-One Summer Support Worker Reimbursement Fund is available to Ontario families of autistic children or youth who retain the services of a one-to-one worker to accompany their child to a camp or program or out on community outings. Maximum reimbursements of $600, per c...

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