09/03/2026
“I hadn't played tennis for many years but took it up again after my marriage to an alcoholic ended. Although I really enjoyed playing, I would often finish a game feeling angry and resentful toward my opponent. During our games, I concentrated so much on what was happening on her side of the court that I couldn’t even call a ball in or out on my own side. If my opponent miscalled a ball in her favor, I would play the martyr, say, ‘It's okay,’ and lose the point.
“One day, while playing, my Higher Power suddenly showed me that my behavior in tennis mirrored my approach to life. I was quick to judge others and always watched for their mistakes, rather than focusing on what was happening on my side of the court: my boundaries, my responsibilities, and my attitudes.
“Even if my tennis game hasn't improved much, I now know how to focus on my side, watch my lines, and trust the other person's call on her side of the court. I can now enjoy playing with a clearer mind. Applying these Al-Anon principles in all areas of my life has improved my relationships. I focus on my attitudes and decisions, take care of my boundaries, and allow others the freedom to make their choices without judgment.”
“Staying on My Side of the Court,” “The Forum,” August 2026
A misconception that many have is that if the alcoholic is no longer in their lives, everything will be fine – no need to think about “recovering from the family disease of alcoholism” anymore … But the truth is, those behavior patterns we developed are so ingrained in us that they no longer have anything to do with the alcoholic. They are 100 percent ours to own. We cannot blame the drinker because, as this member shares, we are “quick to judge” which leads to a negative attitude that in the end makes us miserable. And it’s up to us to decide, do we want to be miserable or do we want recovery? If recovery is what you want, DM us and let us help you find an Al-Anon Family Group where you can begin your recovery journey.