09/01/2026
🐾❤️ THIS ONE IS FOR THE VERSION OF ME I ALMOST LOST. ❤️🐾
I don't talk about this part enough.
People see almost six years sober and they see the accomplishment.
They see the smile.
They see the mother.
They see the woman who kept going.
But they don't always see what it took to get here.
Because my addiction didn't start with me thinking I was going to lose everything.
At first…
I thought drugs were cool.
I thought they made me fit in.
I thought they made me part of something.
I thought I was having fun.
I thought I could control it.
I thought I was just doing what everyone else was doing.
I had absolutely no idea that the thing I thought was helping me fit in would eventually become the thing that took almost everything away from me.
Slowly, “I want to” became “I need to.”
Getting high stopped being something I chose.
It became something I needed just to feel normal.
Just to get through the day.
Just to keep from getting sick.
And somewhere along the way, I disappeared.
The person I was before addiction became harder and harder to find.
And addiction started taking things from me.
My daughter.
My pets.
My family.
My home.
My stability.
My relationships.
My trust.
My self-respect.
My peace.
My sense of who I was.
I lost things I never thought I would lose.
And eventually…
I lost almost everything.
There is something terrifying about looking around one day and realizing that the life you were trying so hard to escape from has become the life you created.
I remember feeling like there was no way back.
Like I had gone too far.
Like I had screwed up too badly.
Like maybe this was just who I was now.
But somewhere underneath all of that…
I was still there.
The real me.
The woman I had been before addiction.
The mother who loved her daughter.
The person who loved her animals.
The person who wanted a home, a family, peace, happiness, and a life she could actually be proud of.
She wasn't gone.
She was buried.
And I had to fight like hell to find her.
Getting sober meant more than putting drugs down.
It meant facing everything I had done.
Everything I had lost.
Everything that had happened to me.
And everything I had allowed into my life.
It meant walking away from an abusive relationship.
It meant cutting ties with people I once believed were my friends.
People I loved.
People who were part of the life I was trying to escape.
And that hurt.
God, did it hurt.
There were times I felt like I had nobody.
I had to learn how to be alone without running back to the people and things that were destroying me.
I had to learn how to sit with myself.
Feel things.
Heal.
Set boundaries.
Say no.
Walk away.
And most importantly…
choose myself.
Because for so long, I had been choosing everything and everyone except me.
And then there was my daughter.
She became one of the biggest reasons I kept fighting.
I wanted to be there.
I wanted to watch her grow.
I wanted to hear her laugh.
I wanted to make memories.
I wanted to be her mom.
Really be her mom.
And I wanted my pets back in my life.
I wanted a home.
I wanted a life.
I wanted to wake up without needing a substance just to feel okay.
I wanted to know who I was again.
So I started rebuilding.
Not overnight.
Not perfectly.
One day at a time.
One decision at a time.
One hard goodbye at a time.
One sober day at a time.
And now…
I'm almost six years sober.
December 1st will mark another year of a life I once didn't think I'd get to have.
Almost six years since the person who thought drugs made her fit in finally started choosing a different life.
Almost six years since I decided that dying from my addiction wasn't going to be my ending.
Almost six years of choosing recovery.
Choosing my daughter.
Choosing my pets.
Choosing my future.
Choosing peace.
Choosing ME.
And here's something I wish I could tell the girl who first thought drugs were cool:
They aren't cool.
Losing yourself isn't cool.
Being sick without them isn't freedom.
Losing your family isn't worth it.
Losing your home isn't worth it.
Missing pieces of your child's life isn't worth it.
Waking up wondering what you lost this time isn't worth it.
But if you've already gone down that road…
your story doesn't have to end there.
You can come back.
You can rebuild.
You can lose almost everything and still find a way to start again.
You can leave.
You can heal.
You can choose yourself.
And you can become someone your old self wouldn't even recognize.
I know because I'm living proof.
I didn't just get sober.
I fought my way back to myself.
And I'm still fighting.
I'm still growing.
I'm still healing.
I'm still becoming.
But I'm here.
My daughter gets to have her mom.
My pets get to have me.
I get to wake up sober.
I get to make memories.
I get to have a future.
And after everything addiction took from me…
I'm finally building a life it can't take away.
So if you're sitting there thinking you've lost too much…
If you're thinking you've hurt too many people…
If you're thinking you've gone too far…
If you're wondering if there's even a way back…
Please listen to me.
I thought that too.
And I was wrong.
There is a way back.
It won't be easy.
It won't happen overnight.
And you may have to leave people behind.
You may have to start completely over.
You may have to grieve the life you thought you wanted.
But there is a life waiting for you on the other side of addiction.
A life you haven't met yet.
A version of yourself you haven't met yet.
And that person is worth fighting for.
I know mine was.
Because six years later…
I'm still here. ❤️
I lost almost everything.
But I found something I never knew I needed.
Me.
🐾❤️ Sober Paws Society ❤️🐾
For anyone rebuilding.
For anyone starting over.
For anyone who thinks they've lost too much.
For anyone who needs to hear that recovery is possible.
Your addiction may be part of your story.
But it does NOT get to write the ending.
Keep going.
Choose yourself.
Choose your life.
Choose recovery.
🐾❤️ You are worth coming back for. ❤️🐾
