Community of Support Fergus/Elora

08/26/2026

I will not be going to coffee tonight but feel free to go and get out of the house. 7pm Starbucks in Fergus

08/24/2026

It's weird how the death of a family member you hardly see doesn't effect your everyday life and you may have to actually think how long it been since they passed away. However loosing someone close to you can shift your whole entire reality. When someone asks when they passed, you can tell the exact day and exactly how long it's been without thinking about it. Finding your new 'normal' can be very hard emotionally.
That's why I don't understand why some people get so upset over celebrities passing away. Yeah it sucks, cause death always sucks, but your life stays the same. It doesn't effect you in the slightest. It's easier on you then that relative you hardly see.

08/19/2026

Deep down we all know that life is uncertain but, it's buried deep and we ignore it. Thinking whatever we are doing in our lives whatever our relationship is forever. When something is going on and all of a sudden uncertainty is hanging over your head. You can't fully rest in life. You are never truly at ease because you know the future is uncertain and it's starting you in the face.
My story different then most but the feelings are the same.
I had that feeling once my spouse was deep into her transitioning. I had married them and had thoughts about growing old together and retirement etc..... Then all of a sudden my Husband was turning into my Wife? What did our future look like now? What did this all mean? The vision I had in my head and what I had signed up for the day we got married, was now something that wasn't in the plan. So where did this leave me?
Thoughts that so many struggle with for different reasons but again the feelings are similar.
Now Im no longer living in survival mode with all thses thoughts floating around my head. The last year and a bit life has been quiet and boring. And Im glad for that. I feel for the first time ever I can just sit and chill. Time to build some roots that won't be uprooted. I no longer want to accept uncertainty in my life. I hate the feeling of that hanging over my head.

08/13/2026

I remember a few months after my spouse passed away being at my cousin's house and we were standing around their driveway talking and her Husband was putting together a bike for their Daughter. I was a completely normal thing but it made me sad. It made me sad because they could have a Dad doing a normal thing like putting together a bike for one of the children and it reminded me that me and my kids no longer had that, and I missed so much.
These little everyday things that most take for granted. It's been a little over 5 years and man has it been an adjustment. Those little 'Dad' things they would do and they were someone who could do basically anything, from changing the oil in my car to fixing almost anything around the house. Having to all of a sudden learn to maintain and keep a house by myself. Some days I am extremely thankful to have a Dad that can help me with some things around the house. Getting used to the person not being there to do the 'man' stuff around d the house. That's an adjustment no one talks about.

08/11/2026

This is where my mind has been since the stroke. I woke up in the hospital thinking that if I hadn't of survived, I have no will and I have two daughters and Im their only living parent. That alone puts a huge amount of pressure on someone.
I am relatively young so I shrugged it off, 'I've got time I'll worry about it when Im older." Then the impossible happened when I wasn't prepared.
I've thought on this for 1.5 years and now that Im working at it, I see just hiw hard it is to get yourself to sit and fill it out. However, there is a piece of mind I feel I will have when it's done. I just gotta get through the process.
Future plans you are not looking forward to.

08/03/2026

Looking back on my adult years and I have come to realize that some of the best decisions I have made have been the scariest. Im talking those ones where I was facing stepping outside of my comfort zone for which ever reason, but my instincts and my gut told me it was okay to move forward.
One example. Months after the stroke I was in a relationship and we never really got a chance to get to know each other because my stroke happened 2 months into our relationship. So our relationship was basically him being my nurse. Once I got well enough we're we could start to resume a 'normal' relationship we were well out of the honeymoon phase and we're seeing each other for who we were and the inner wounds we still needed to heal. I remember being faced with that moment where I had to decide if I wanted to be single while raising my at the time 11 year old and taking care of a house, and facing being alone after a stroke (which is scary AF) or stay in the relationship so I won't have to be alone and do all the things on my own, while over coming a stroke. It was a taugh decision, but I had healed myself enough that I didn't want a man to make me feel certain ways ever again and facing being alone was looking like the better option. I figured I'd figure it out cause I always do. So we broke up and I had to face the break up and face bing alone. As much as I struggled with my decision and the feelings of a breakup, I knew in my gut I had made the right choice. Acknowledging and accepting to myself that I maybe single for the rest of my life. Then long story short and a few details missing, I went for coffee with a man I had met 20 years ago and had not seen since. Facebook was our only window I to each others lives. Having no clue that he liked me and I thought we were just going to be friends. Fast forward to 6 months later and Im in a healthy relationship with an amazing man. For me to get where I am now I had to make a hard decision and face uncertainty. I chose the possibility of being alone forever because I didn't want to feel the way I had felt throughout my childhood and my past abusive relationship. My entire emotional and mental being was more important than being alone. Im grateful everyday I made that choice.

07/28/2026

November will be a year since I've had this grief/ coffee support thing happening. I first thought about it during a time of isolation in my life. I started going for coffee at Starbucks once a week to read my book, just to get out of the house and start to give myself some sort of routine after the stroke (when I was ready of course). Then I had a thought that some people don't need therapy or counseling, they just need to get out of their house and socialize. Even just being out where the people are is enough to make you feel less isolated in your life. Your mental health will thank you if you get out and just be around people. So Im there every week with my book (except last week I totally forgot and it was 8:30pm when I checked the time). When I first started with this idea, I kind of felt a little dumb. My inner self doubt and thinking about what people might think started up in my head, but I ignored it and did it anyway. 8 months later I don't feel dumb at all. I've had a few ladies show up here and there. A few weeks on and off. Not a huge turn out but I now tell myself that is the point of this. I am going to be there anyway for myself so why not leave an open invitation to others who have been or are going through grief an opportunity for them to get out of the house, feel less isolated and talk to another human being. Especially after loosing a close loved one you need to feel less isolated and socialize with other people. Even if you're just going for coffee and reading a book while being surrounded by strangers. That little act goes a long way.

07/16/2026

07/08/2026

Everyday life holds grief in some way. The expectations you have of your children of who they're going to grow up to be. The bill coming up that you don't know how you're going to pay. What your neighbors think about you. How your family treats you and how they sometimes make you feel. Being misunderstood by people around you, what memory or legacy you leave when you pass on, ect.....

Then one day if you're lucky enough you learn to just let it go. You learn that holding onto negative feelings and thoughts can physically impact your body. Im still learning to let go of these kinds of thoughts but I have my days, I'm only human of course. Ahhh, but those moments where I just let it all go. I remind myself that I always figure it out and it all doesn't really matter. My job is to enjoy my time in this earth. To do the things that light me up. To let myself love those close to me. To let myself be open to receive their love. To let people who need space take their space and to stop worrying. All I can do is live life to the fullest for me, not to live by someone else's expectations. Learning to let go is one of life's hardest lessons, but it's the most rewarding.