Stage IV & Centred

Stage IV & Centred Stage IV & Centred is where cancer meets its match — a middle finger wrapped in mindfulness and laughter. We talk about the absurd bits

Born from the chaos of chemo and the calm of dark humour, this space refuses pity, clichés, or pastel-ribbon pep talks.

There comes a point in adulthood when you stop judging the Hamburglar and start understanding him.As a kid I thought:“Wh...
29/05/2026

There comes a point in adulthood when you stop judging the Hamburglar and start understanding him.

As a kid I thought:
“Why doesn’t he just buy a burger?”

As an adult I know the answer is:
Because life has been kicking him in the kidneys since Tuesday.

The poor bloke wasn’t running a criminal empire.

He was overwhelmed.

One mildly inconvenient email away from throwing on a striped outfit and making increasingly questionable decisions involving cheeseburgers.

Honestly, same.

So today, in honour of Hamburger Day, I shall be celebrating the way nature intended:

By pretending burgers contain all five food groups and that melted cheese is a recognised coping strategy.

If anyone asks, this is wellness.

🍔

Blueberry cheesecake really is the Beyoncé of desserts.Overdressed.Expensive looking.Emotionally stabilising.And the blu...
26/05/2026

Blueberry cheesecake really is the Beyoncé of desserts.

Overdressed.
Expensive looking.
Emotionally stabilising.

And the blueberries on top acting like they personally dragged the dessert into the wellness category.

Tiny fruity liars.

But honestly if a dessert contains antioxidants then medically I think that means I’m basically an athlete now.

At this point my health plan consists of:
• hydration
• pharmaceuticals
• aggressive sarcasm
• cheesecake

One of those is definitely keeping me alive.
Possibly two.

They said adulthood would involve financial planning and personal growth.Instead I’m carrying:* a medication list* 14 li...
25/05/2026

They said adulthood would involve financial planning and personal growth.

Instead I’m carrying:

* a medication list
* 14 lip balms
* electrolytes
* pain relief
* tissues
* receipts
* a rogue cracker
* and the psychological equivalent of a raccoon in a trench coat.

Happy Towel Day.
Don’t panic.

Or do.

Just hydrate first.

World Turtle Day feels extremely on brand for me.A creature carrying its entire safe space around because the outside wo...
23/05/2026

World Turtle Day feels extremely on brand for me.

A creature carrying its entire safe space around because the outside world occasionally becomes far too people-y.

Relatable.

There’s something oddly comforting about turtles though.
They don’t rush.
They don’t perform productivity.
They just keep moving when they can… rest when they need… and disappear into their shell without writing a motivational speech about it afterwards.

Honestly?
A healthy life strategy.

Some days with Stage IV life look brave and productive.

Other days look like:

* avoiding phone calls
* hiding under blankets
* staring into the void
* becoming emotionally unavailable until further notice

And both versions still count as surviving.

So if today is a shell day…
take the shell day.

🐢

Cancer meditation is not the peaceful experience wellness influencers promised us.There’s no mountain waterfall.No spiri...
21/05/2026

Cancer meditation is not the peaceful experience wellness influencers promised us.

There’s no mountain waterfall.
No spiritual flute music.
No sudden enlightenment.

It’s mostly:
trying not to panic because your shoulder hurts differently today than it did yesterday.

Meanwhile oncology nurses glide through treatment rooms carrying:

* medications
* warm blankets
* blood forms
* tea
* snacks
* reassurance
* and the emotional stability of approximately 40 people at once

Honestly they’re basically waiters in the strangest restaurant on earth.

“Here’s your saline.”
“Here’s your anti nausea meds.”
“Here’s your scan appointment.”
“Here’s emotional damage control with a side of professionalism.”

And somehow they still manage to smile while we quietly spiral over:

* blood test numbers
* scan delays
* Google searches we absolutely should not have done
* and that one symptom we’ve decided definitely means doom despite being told otherwise 6 times

So this World Meditation Day:
take the breath
drink the water
stop googling weird symptoms at 2am
and maybe trust the oncology team just enough to let your nervous system unclench for five minutes.

And to the nurses carrying all of us through this mess one tray at a time:

We see you - thank you

As a child I genuinely thought millionaires floated through life wearing silk robes while someone fed them grapes beside...
19/05/2026

As a child I genuinely thought millionaires floated through life wearing silk robes while someone fed them grapes beside a private pool.

Now I’m pretty sure being a millionaire just means:
buying groceries without quietly calculating what can be put back first.

The queen bee fantasy collapsed fast.

Meanwhile actual bees:
🐝 work together
🐝 contribute to society
🐝 have clear roles
🐝 don’t get emotionally injured by the price of olive oil

Honestly they seem far more evolved than us.

Happy World Bee Day and Be a Millionaire Day.
May your pollen be plentiful, your bills suspiciously low, and your card decline happen somewhere private.

The older I get the more I understand why vintage women smoked indoors while holding an entire chocolate cake they “were...
19/05/2026

The older I get the more I understand why vintage women smoked indoors while holding an entire chocolate cake they “weren’t touching.”

That wasn’t glamour.
That was survival with garnish.

Today’s vibe:
one slice for happiness
two slices for resilience
third slice because the first two didn’t fix anything.

WORD OF THE DAY:F**KLEAF CLOVER(n.)That extremely rare moment when:* your symptoms calm down* your inbox is empty* nobod...
16/05/2026

WORD OF THE DAY:

F**KLEAF CLOVER

(n.)
That extremely rare moment when:

* your symptoms calm down
* your inbox is empty
* nobody needs anything
* and your mental stability lasts longer than 14 minutes

Some people collect fine art.Some people collect handbags.Personally I have reached the stage of life where I look at a ...
15/05/2026

Some people collect fine art.
Some people collect handbags.

Personally I have reached the stage of life where I look at a warm chocolate chip cookie like it belongs behind bulletproof glass with its own security detail.

“ESSENTIAL. LITERALLY.” feels medically accurate at this point.

There should honestly be a wellness exhibit called:
✨ Things Holding Adults Together ✨

Featuring:

* one decent coffee
* emotionally significant snacks
* that one friend who says “have you eaten?”
* cancelled plans
* stretchy pants
* pretending almonds balance everything out nutritionally

Anyway.
If your current emotional support system is being held together by tiny comforts and blind optimism… same.

I love that humanity looked around at wars, inflation, medical debt, and the general psychological condition of society…...
14/05/2026

I love that humanity looked around at wars, inflation, medical debt, and the general psychological condition of society…

…and decided what we really needed was a global reminder to dance like chickens.

Correct decision honestly.

Because at this point surviving adulthood already feels like:

🐔 running in circles
🐔 making loud noises for no reason
🐔 panic-eating
🐔 staring into space with vacant bird energy

So if you see me today flapping through the hallway with zero explanation, just know I’m participating in important cultural traditions.

This is wellness now.

Apparently when you combine Cocktail Day with Top Gun Day…you just summon Tom Cruise.Honestly the man has spent four dec...
13/05/2026

Apparently when you combine Cocktail Day with Top Gun Day…
you just summon Tom Cruise.

Honestly the man has spent four decades sprinting at full speed through explosions, emotional instability and questionable decisions in aviators.

Meanwhile I pulled a shoulder muscle trying to untangle IV tubing while making a drink in my kitchen.

Different stunt coordinators.

Same commitment.

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