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Stage IV & Centred

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Stage IV & Centred

Stage IV & Centred is where cancer meets its match — a middle finger wrapped in mindfulness and laughter. We talk about the absurd bits

Born from the chaos of chemo and the calm of dark humour, this space refuses pity, clichés, or pastel-ribbon pep talks.

28/07/2026

History books are strangely silent about the day humanity finally got its priorities right.

Forget kings.
Forget queens.

Today we crown…

👑 Milk Chocolate.

Some people say diamonds are forever.

Some people say money can’t buy happiness.

Those people have clearly never found an emergency block of chocolate hiding in the pantry when life has gone completely sideways.

Happy Milk Chocolate Day to everyone in our wonderfully chaotic community.

May your chocolate remain hidden from family members, visitors and anyone who says,

“Can I just have one little square?”

We all know how that story ends.

25/07/2026

Somewhere, somebody decided these two celebrations belonged on the same day.

“Let’s celebrate Thread the Needle Day.”

“Excellent.”

“And Wine & Cheese Day.”

“…also excellent.”

“But together.”

That meeting should’ve ended immediately.

If your sewing kit somehow ends up inside the fondue pot, today’s going exactly as planned.

Stay colourful.
Stay slightly ridiculous.
And remember…

The best memories usually begin with someone saying,
“This is probably a terrible idea…”

21/07/2026

BREAKING NEWS

The United Nations has officially entered emergency talks.

Current agenda:

• Pizza wants more influence.
• Nachos demand equal cheese distribution.
• Doughnuts insist sprinkles are a human right.
• Burgers refuse to recognise salads as food.

Negotiations have completely collapsed after someone suggested air-fried chips.

Thoughts and prayers are with the translators.

Hope you’re all doing better than I am today… and may your chips always be crispy.

19/07/2026

🏅 Breaking News…

The World Tongue Olympics have begun.

Current standings:

🥇 Galaxy Tongue
🥈 Disco Ball Tongue
🥉 Flaming Lava Tongue

Disqualified:
🚫 Tried licking a frozen daiquiri before competition.

The judges have already handed out scores of 10…11…and…

“WHAT THE HELL?”

Whatever you’re doing today, I hope you’re having more fun than the competitors. ❤️

Happy Stick Your Tongue Out Day!

17/07/2026

🎉 Happy World Emoji Day!

Apparently there are now thousands of emojis.

Yet somehow there still isn’t one for:

🩺 “My oncologist just said let’s watch and wait.”

💊 “I’ve swallowed 17 tablets before breakfast.”

🩸 “Blood test number 472.”

🤦‍♀️ “Google has convinced me I’ve got three new diseases before lunch.”

Until then I’ll continue expressing myself using sarcasm… which still isn’t available on the emoji keyboard either.

Hope your day contains far more 😂 than 😩 and absolutely none of 🤯.

Happy World Emoji Day from all of us at Stage IV & Centred.

15/07/2026

Nobody asks for these gifts.

Not cancer.

Not chemo.

Not the mouth ulcers that make water sting.

Not the fatigue that turns climbing the stairs into an Olympic event.

Not the dry skin, the hair loss, the anxiety or the endless appointments.

If today is Give Something Away Day, we’re finally participating.

Every single one of these gifts can go.

We’ll even pay for postage.

13/07/2026

Somewhere…

an art curator is having an absolute breakdown.

“The fries have escaped.”

“The cheese won’t stop flowing.”

“People are applauding.”

Happy French Fries Day.

Life is too short to worry whether chips belong inside the artwork.

Sometimes the masterpiece is the glorious mess that happens afterwards.

11/07/2026

Every mojito deserves a Formula One pit crew.

Ice replacement: 1.8 seconds.

Mint deployment: Perfect.

Lime angle: Telemetry approved.

Tiny paper umbrella: Questionable but committed.

Me trying to make a drink after treatment?

“Where did I put the bloody glass?”

Happy Mojito Day to everyone. Whether you’re sipping cocktails, mocktails or pretending cordial is exciting, I hope today gives you one small reason to smile.

10/07/2026

If childhood had a waiting room for adults…

…I think it would look something like this.

Time melts.
Sandwiches float.
Tea never gets cold.
Someone quietly knits tomorrow while everyone else simply enjoys today.

Cancer has a funny way of making us realise that maybe we spend far too much time worrying about clocks instead of moments.

So for one day…

Forget the clock.

Have the picnic.

Eat the cake.

Drink the tea.

Take the photo.

Buy the teddy.

Life can wait five minutes.

09/07/2026

The sugar cookies have finally had enough.

“We’re tired of only being invited out at Christmas.”

“We have personalities.”

“We deserve year-round appreciation.”

Meanwhile, Oreos have been hired as security, fortune cookies are pretending they’re management, and someone keeps throwing flour like it’s a political rally.

Honestly…

I’ve seen less organised protests.

Happy Sugar Cookie Day to every underestimated little biscuit out there.

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