30/08/2019
➡️ I SEE YOU
➡️ I HEAR YOU
➡️ I'M HERE FOR YOU
➡️YOU BELONG HERE
➡️YOU ARE SAFE
➡️I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE
Love this page, it's messages, especially this one regarding the role we can play in being being our children's "safe keeper" while they are dis-regulated (or when they are 'melting down'😉)
💙 Jane & Fiona
These are the messages our children need to hear, and the order in which they need to hear them. Our brain needs to know it’s safe before it can register any other message. This is why it’s so important we stay calm and focus on becoming our child’s “safe keeper” while they’re tantruming; we need to soothe that survival state.
⭐️I will keep you safe.
⭐️You are safe.
⭐️I’ve got you.
⭐️My job is to keep you safe. Your job is to help keep it safe. (Thank you for that one!!)
Next, our children need to learn they are loved and belong. Brain research has confirmed what psychological theory has taught for decades: after our basic needs of food, water, shelter, safety are met, we need belonging. Our brains are wired to be social, so the need for belonging is deeply rooted in our being.
⭐️I see you.
⭐️I hear you.
⭐️I’m here for you.
⭐️You belong here.
⭐️You are so loved.
Finally, humans are wired to be productive. We need to feel like we are contributing to society. Again, brain research has confirmed what psychology has theorized for decades. We can see this need fulfilled after a great trauma or loss happens in someone’s life and they turn tragedy into a mission. Making a contribution, positively impacting others, helps us stay in our executive brain so we don’t get lost in big, overwhelming emotions.
⭐️You can help.
⭐️That was helpful!
⭐️You are needed.
⭐️You’re doing it!
Consciously answering these needs on daily basis will help you maintain calm and connect with your child. When we do so proactively, our children won’t have to ask in big ways [through behavior] as much.
What phrases resonate with you the most?