11/08/2026
Growing up with a disability, I’ve noticed that people often see it before they see me. Through no fault of their own, it becomes the first thing they know about me and for a long time, I struggled to see myself as anything else. When the world reflects a single story back at you from first glance, it becomes harder to imagine yourself in any other role.
Over the past few months, on my journey to becoming a parent, I’ve realised just how little representation exists for parents with brain injuries, even though we are everywhere. That gap doesn’t sit right with me. So I decided to be a squeaky wheel to show another example of the fact that we are here, whether we’re represented or not.
But this absence isn’t just about visibility. It’s woven into the experience itself. You feel it in the lack of adaptive equipment designed with disabled parents in mind. You feel it in the assumptions people make about your abilities, your goals, and your right to pursue them. These assumptions can wear you down in ways that are hard to explain unless you’ve lived it.
Once society places you in one box, it struggles to imagine you in another. But humans are never just one thing. And that’s really what I’m trying to say here.
Now, as I rediscover my identity as a mum and readjust my identity as an individual, I find myself reflecting deeply on how much identity and societal roles shape the way we see ourselves and the way others see us. Becoming a parent has reminded me that identity isn’t fixed. It expands. It shifts. It makes room. And I’m learning to make room for all the parts of me, not just the ones people notice first.
As Millie and I learn to navigate, grow, and explore this new chapter together, I’m realising that parenthood is a joint effort. I will teach her, and she will teach me how to adapt, how to rethink the everyday, and how to shape a childhood that works for both of us. We’ll overcome obstacles like fatigue and hemiplegia, and we’ll keep finding creative ways to do things outside the box. This journey isn’t about doing things the “normal” way it’s about doing them our way, with patience, curiosity, and a whole lot of love.
